PNS Interview with Nguyen Minh, PhD

 PNS:  Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.  Rita Trevalyan here with Nguyen Minh, PhD, another member of the PET, the Proserpina Exploration Team on Proserpina, exploring the mysterious ninth planet.  And what is your specialty, sir?

Minh:  Don’t call me sir, I work for a living.  I work with Nin Hao in exobiology.  We have discovered many strange species, but many are also what you would find on Earth.  

PNS:  Could you give a few examples in each category, please?  

Minh:  Oh, yes.  One which is found all over Earth, and is useful for both pharmaceuticals and fiber is hemp, also known as marihuana or cannabis.  It has only recently been legalized on Earth.  The process to. decriminalize and legalize it began in the early 2000s as several states in the US legalized it. The US government was slower to move on it, since many conservatives condemned its use, including the President.  Here it has never been a controlled substance, so when agriculture was resumed after millions of years subsisting in the lava tubes underground,     Farming it was resumed on a large scale.   But Nadyezhka could tell you more about that.

PNS: What are some new species you’ve discovered?

Minh:  There is the Haowazica terminius Bascally it is a like a cross between a bat and a squirrel.  Very good eating, by the way.  I’ve had it served to me in the lava tubes by the natives.

PNS:  Brrr!  Are you sure you didn’t catch a virus from eating it?  Seems to me a deadly virus was going around last century from people eating bats.  

Minh:  No I didn’t. You see, the dishes served with it, a root crop, are effective antivirals.  These people know what they’re doing.  Another very interesting species is the Eranook splazicus, it’s a giant slug. Also very good eating if prepared properly.

PNS:  Are all the species you discovered edible?

Minh:  Most of them.  Those people had to eat something  during the millions of years they were stuck underground.  Sure, they hibernated for a goodly stretch of that time, but there’s a limit to how long you can sleep, you know.  

PNS:  Now we’re getting somewhere.  The natives hibernated for fifty million years?

Minh:  It is more like they were cryogenically frozen, their heart rate all but stopped so they didn’t need oxygen, they didn’t need to breathe.  When they got close a sun again that they were receiving UV light again, they woke up.  Believe me, we are studying how they did this most assiduously so that when we start to leave the solar system to travel to the stars, we will be able to copy the same method they used.  

PNS:  That is most interesting Dr. Nguyen  Thank you for your time.  That’s all for this week.  Stay tuned for another exciting interview with another member of the Proserpina Exploration Team, same bat time, same bat channel.

PNS Interview with Rhedi Krishnamurthi, PhD

 

Teresa Reitan <tezra.reitan@gmail.com>	Mon, Oct 19, 12:25 PM (3 days ago)
to Elise, me

PNS:  Good evening!  Rita Trevalyan here with Rhedi Krishnamurthi, PhD.  There was once a famous yogi with that surname.  Are you any relation?

Rhedi:  He was my ancestor, but I’m proud to say that our family has turned to science and away from that New Age crap.  It’s only for suckers.

PNS:  Glad to hear it.  What is your specialty?

Rhedi:Geology.  Proserpina is a very geologically alive planet.  I shall measure the seismic movements and determine when another volcano is likely to erupt.  Our party will then travel the planet to the lava tubes and help the people move out of their underground homes to a place hopefully well away from the volcanic activity.  

PNS:  So they will be moving back to the cities on the surface.

Rhedi:  That is correct, mem.  But how they live afterwards is not my concern.  The anthropologists will take care of them.  

PNS:  It is interesting that there doesn’t seem to have been much geological activity during the time the planet was wandering the cosmos, searching for a home.  

Rhedi:  There was no geological activity during that time.  But when it encountered the gravity of our sun, things started moving again.

PNS:  So our sun does more than just illuminate and heat the planets, it makes geological activity possible?

Rhedi:  That is correct, mem.  Why our moon is geologically dead is an open question.  I daresay a team of scientists will be sent to the moon to find out why this is so.   

PNS:  Maybe yours truly will be able to cover that exciting science story.

Rhedi:  Perhaps.  

PNS:  You heard it here first, folks!  Tune in next week for another exciting interview with the members of the Proserpina Exploration team, same bat time, same bea channel.

PNS Interview with the Hon. Oliver Pennstroke III PhD

 PNS:  Rita Trevalyan here with Oliver Pennstroke III, PhD from the United Kingdom.  How are you tonight Dr. Pennstroke?

Pennstroke: Fine, but call me Oliver. Dr. Pennstroke is my father, a famous surgeon, doncha know?

PNS:  Oh, yes, internationally famous.  He made history by transplanting an ear that was grown on a rat’s back to a human who had lost his ear in an auto accident.  Where did you get your degree, and what is your area of specialization?

Pennstroke:  Cambridge, and exoanthropology.

PNS:  So the UN Space Agency knew aheady that there was likely to be or there had been intelligent life on Proserpina, and they were likely to be humanoid?

Pennstroke:  Oh, yes.  The probes sent by NASA discovered this straightaway, and they generously shared the news with the entire world.  But we didn’t discover the exact nature of the humanoids until well after we had landed.  Several of the women reported having disturbing and very vivid dreams about them, and Fran reported having seen something move in her peripheral vision while out examining how the constellations look while several million kilometers away from Earth.

PNS: Pennstroke, that’s a rather unusual surname.  Do you know anything about its origin?

Pennstroke:  Oh, yes.  I had an ancestor who was a scribe in the court of Henry VIII around the time of our Reformation.  He had been a churchman, but after the Reformation he was encouraged  to leave the  Church and take a wife.  So he did.  She was one of the Hampton maidservants.  That’s how my family got started.  

PNS.   Fascinating  What lies ahead for your mission?.  

Pennstroke:  We will be doing some more exploration of the planet to see if there are other tribes hidden underground in other places.  We know there are at least two tribes.  We suspect there must be more.  

PNS:  You heard it here first, folks.  Stay tuned next week when we will have another exciting interview with another member of the intrepid Proserpina Exploration team.

PNS Interview with Frances MacFadden, PhD

 PNS:  Good evening!  Rita Trevalyan here from the Planetary News Service here with Frances MacFadden, PhD from Canada.  You’re from Nova Scotia, aren’t you, Dr. MacFadden?

MacFadden: Aye, That I am.  A suburb just outside of Halifax.  

PNS:  And what is your field of expertise?

MacFadden:  I be an anthropologist, and please call me Frances, or Fran.  Dr. MacFadden be me uncle, an oncologist.

PNS:  All right, Fran.  So the UN Space Agency already suspected there might be advanced life on Proserpina. 

MacFadden:  That they did, aye.  The probe they sent picked up a city or two. I studied the tribe who had been living in the lava tubes near the city, and then we traveled east of the city to see if there be any other tribes sequestered underground in more lava tubes. We were not disappointed.

PNS:  Indeed you were not.  Dr. Vogel told us you already had a mechanical translator working, so communicating with the people there was no problem.

MacFadden:  Oh, he did, did he?  Dr. Vogel is famous for having a big mouth.  Now everyone will want to come, and I wanted to keep the natives in as pristine condition as they were when we found them.  We earthlings have a bad reputation for what we do when we meet indigenous peoples. My, Davida’s and Winnie’s mission is to mitigate some of that.

PNS:  A very worthy mission all around.  Everyone I’ve talked to, with the exception of RedEagle, who is an MD, is a PhD.  Can you tell us more about the selection process?

MacFadden:  Oh, aye.  There was a competition to select the experts in our fields, and the 20 of us were the winner.  Well, there were 25, but 5 washed oot during the weight training exercises.  It was felt they would not do well in the increased gravity.  

PNS:  And did the weight training prepare you adequately for the increased gravity?

MacFadden:  Oh, aye!  I developed muscles I didn’t even ken I had.  This may cut down on the numbers of people who want to come here.  The amount of training for a trip here is very stringent, and not for everyone.

PNS:  There you have it.  One of our doughty astronauts warning everyone off going there.  Stay tuned for another stimulating interview with a member of the Proserpina Exploration Team next week.  Sam bat time, Same bat channel

PNS Interview with Hans Vogel, PhD

 PNS:  Good evening!  This is Rita Trevalyan of the Planetary News Service here with Hans Peter Vogel PhD, a leading exoagronomist and exobotanist, and a member of the Proserpina Exploration Team.  So you are also in Nadyezhka Politovena’s field. Do you ever disagree about things?

Hans Vogel: Nein, nein!  Ve get along perfectly!  Because you see, our fields of expertise do not really overlap zat much.

PNS:  Excellent!  Did you know each other before the team was selected?

Hans Vogel:  Jawohl!  Fery vell!  In fact, I recommended her for vun of za spots on za team.  

PNS:  Interesting!  She didn’t mention this when I interviewed her a few weeks ago.  

Hans Vogel (puts his hand to his mouth):  Oh!  Did I tell a tale out of school?

PNS:  It’s all right.  I can always interview her again.  You and several other members of the team made a trip elsewhere in the temperate zone recently.  How did that go?

Hans Vogel:  Fery vell!  Ve met members of another tribe who had been living in za lava tubes for a very long time.  At first they vere very shy, but zey slowly varmed to us, especially vhen ve told zem about the success Nadyezhka und Onoye vere haffing vith der farming.  Uh oh, I did it again, didn’t I?

PNS:  Yes, I heard that tribe later tried to raid the main tribe’s food stores.

Hans Vogel:  I caused zat, didn’t I?  I haf got to keep my big mouth shut.  

PNS:  It turned out all right, though.  Winifred’s tribe shared with yours.  Apparently all they had to do was ask.  

Hans Vogel:  But I feel bad about zose who got hurt during za raid.  Zat vas my fault.

PNS:  No, it wasn’t.  It was your tribe’s decision to go in there like gang busters and not ask politely for what they needed.  I hope they have learned to behave themselves.  Winifred’s tribe sounds very generous.  

Hans Vogel:Oh, zey are.  Onoye explained it to me.  They use a concept his tribe in Africa have called Unbuntu, vich means community.  Ve haf a zimilar zing in Germany.  It is very peculiar that two places zo far apart as Africa and here should haf it, und yet za two tribes on za same planet do not have it.  Za tribe ve discovered vere ready to rob za tribe here.  (shakes head sadly)

PNS:Yes, very peculiar indeed.  Thank you Dr. Vogel.  Stay tuned for our next exciting interview next week.  Same bat time, same bat channel.