PNS Interview with Paolina Sanches, PhD

 PNS: Good Evening!  Rita Trevalyan here with another member of the Proserpina Exploration Team or PET.  Like all the others, Dr. Sanches has a PhD.  What is your area of expertise, Dr. Sanches?

Paolina: :Cultural Anthropology, and call me Paolina. Dr. Sanches is my uncle.

PNS:  Were you excited when you found out that Proserpina had living, breathing people living underground in the lava tubes surrounding Proserpina City?

Paolina: Oh, yes, very excited.  

PNS: Did it take you very long to get to communicate with them?

Paolina:  Oh, no it didn’t, once Winnie had a handle on the language, it didn’t take long at all.  And Marcel invented a pocket translator which translated English into Proserpinan and vice versa, since that was the language we all used.  

PNS:  And then there was the night of the falling stars.  You discovered something very important was going on in your private lives then, didn’t you?

Paolina:  Oh, yes. That was the night our contraceptive measures failed, and we both became pregnant.

PNS:  You and--

Paolina: Nadyezhka and I. But it did not slow us down too much. Nin Hao invented artificial uteri for us to put out embryos in.

PNS: So you did not consider terminating your pregnancies.

Paolina: Of course not! I am a good Catholic girl!

PNS:But the contraceptives.

Paolina: The Pope has become more pragmatic in the last few years, no? My priest himself blessed the injection I took. But it failed after only a year and it was supposed to last for five years.  

PNS:  Were they healthy when they were born?

Paolina: We say decanted, because they were not born the regular way, no? Very healthy babies, and we are raising them together so they are like sisters.

PNS:  Both girls?

Paolina Si. both girls, so perfect, and afterwards we get married.  

PNS:how splendid for you.  Did the Proserpina people meet your babies?

Paolina: They love them.  They love babies. The race, it does not matter.

PNS Race shhould not matter to anyone. Thank you Paolina. Next week we’ll interview another member of this charming team. Same bat time, same bat channel:

   

Interview with Queenie Cramer, PhD

 Good evening!  Here we are at PNS with yet another exciting interview with a member of the Proserpina Exploration Team. I’m your host, Rita Trevelyan  This time it’s with  Quuenie Cramer of Kingston, Jamaica.  Where did you get your doctorate, and what is your area of expertise?

Queenie:  I got it at Kingston University, and my specialty is different medical systems.  I have been studying how the people of this planet heal each other, and whoo-ee!  They have quite the system.  

PNS:  Would you care to share some of what you’ve learned from the Proserpinans about their medicine?

Queenie:  Why, sure I would!.  Y’see, while Western medicine believes in an almost mechanistic view of the body, and is only now bw beginning to realize the role the mind plays in sickness vis-a-vis good health, for the Proserpinan, they’re all of a piece and person’s soul or spirit plays a very big role in this process. 

PNS:  Don’t they believe in microbes, bacteria or viruses that cause disease?

Queenie:  Well, sure they do, but those little buggers can’t get in unless the soul leaves an open way for them.

PNS:  So if you have a healthy soul, your immune system is proof against disease causing microbes.  Interesting way of looking at it.  What does their Healer do if the person comes to hir with a disease?

Queenie:  They hold a ceremony for hir, and not only does hir whole family participate, but the entire tribe does.  They have interesting drums, too, and they beat those drums to call back the soul of the patient.  

PNS:  Kind of reminds me of the shamanic rituals of certain Earth tribes I’ve seen videos of them.

Queenie:  Me too, but I didn’t want to be prejudging by pro-conditions.  Might lead to a false comparison, if you know what I mean.  

PNS: Yes, yes!  Must keep an open mind.  Well, thank you, Dr. Cramer!

Queenie, please.  Dr. Cramer is my mother.

PNS: Stay tuned for another exciting interview with another member of this intrepid team.Same bat time, Same bat channel.

PNS Interview with Nguyen Minh, PhD

 PNS:  Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.  Rita Trevalyan here with Nguyen Minh, PhD, another member of the PET, the Proserpina Exploration Team on Proserpina, exploring the mysterious ninth planet.  And what is your specialty, sir?

Minh:  Don’t call me sir, I work for a living.  I work with Nin Hao in exobiology.  We have discovered many strange species, but many are also what you would find on Earth.  

PNS:  Could you give a few examples in each category, please?  

Minh:  Oh, yes.  One which is found all over Earth, and is useful for both pharmaceuticals and fiber is hemp, also known as marihuana or cannabis.  It has only recently been legalized on Earth.  The process to. decriminalize and legalize it began in the early 2000s as several states in the US legalized it. The US government was slower to move on it, since many conservatives condemned its use, including the President.  Here it has never been a controlled substance, so when agriculture was resumed after millions of years subsisting in the lava tubes underground,     Farming it was resumed on a large scale.   But Nadyezhka could tell you more about that.

PNS: What are some new species you’ve discovered?

Minh:  There is the Haowazica terminius Bascally it is a like a cross between a bat and a squirrel.  Very good eating, by the way.  I’ve had it served to me in the lava tubes by the natives.

PNS:  Brrr!  Are you sure you didn’t catch a virus from eating it?  Seems to me a deadly virus was going around last century from people eating bats.  

Minh:  No I didn’t. You see, the dishes served with it, a root crop, are effective antivirals.  These people know what they’re doing.  Another very interesting species is the Eranook splazicus, it’s a giant slug. Also very good eating if prepared properly.

PNS:  Are all the species you discovered edible?

Minh:  Most of them.  Those people had to eat something  during the millions of years they were stuck underground.  Sure, they hibernated for a goodly stretch of that time, but there’s a limit to how long you can sleep, you know.  

PNS:  Now we’re getting somewhere.  The natives hibernated for fifty million years?

Minh:  It is more like they were cryogenically frozen, their heart rate all but stopped so they didn’t need oxygen, they didn’t need to breathe.  When they got close a sun again that they were receiving UV light again, they woke up.  Believe me, we are studying how they did this most assiduously so that when we start to leave the solar system to travel to the stars, we will be able to copy the same method they used.  

PNS:  That is most interesting Dr. Nguyen  Thank you for your time.  That’s all for this week.  Stay tuned for another exciting interview with another member of the Proserpina Exploration Team, same bat time, same bat channel.

PNS Interview with Rhedi Krishnamurthi, PhD

 

Teresa Reitan <tezra.reitan@gmail.com>	Mon, Oct 19, 12:25 PM (3 days ago)
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PNS:  Good evening!  Rita Trevalyan here with Rhedi Krishnamurthi, PhD.  There was once a famous yogi with that surname.  Are you any relation?

Rhedi:  He was my ancestor, but I’m proud to say that our family has turned to science and away from that New Age crap.  It’s only for suckers.

PNS:  Glad to hear it.  What is your specialty?

Rhedi:Geology.  Proserpina is a very geologically alive planet.  I shall measure the seismic movements and determine when another volcano is likely to erupt.  Our party will then travel the planet to the lava tubes and help the people move out of their underground homes to a place hopefully well away from the volcanic activity.  

PNS:  So they will be moving back to the cities on the surface.

Rhedi:  That is correct, mem.  But how they live afterwards is not my concern.  The anthropologists will take care of them.  

PNS:  It is interesting that there doesn’t seem to have been much geological activity during the time the planet was wandering the cosmos, searching for a home.  

Rhedi:  There was no geological activity during that time.  But when it encountered the gravity of our sun, things started moving again.

PNS:  So our sun does more than just illuminate and heat the planets, it makes geological activity possible?

Rhedi:  That is correct, mem.  Why our moon is geologically dead is an open question.  I daresay a team of scientists will be sent to the moon to find out why this is so.   

PNS:  Maybe yours truly will be able to cover that exciting science story.

Rhedi:  Perhaps.  

PNS:  You heard it here first, folks!  Tune in next week for another exciting interview with the members of the Proserpina Exploration team, same bat time, same bea channel.

PNS Interview with the Hon. Oliver Pennstroke III PhD

 PNS:  Rita Trevalyan here with Oliver Pennstroke III, PhD from the United Kingdom.  How are you tonight Dr. Pennstroke?

Pennstroke: Fine, but call me Oliver. Dr. Pennstroke is my father, a famous surgeon, doncha know?

PNS:  Oh, yes, internationally famous.  He made history by transplanting an ear that was grown on a rat’s back to a human who had lost his ear in an auto accident.  Where did you get your degree, and what is your area of specialization?

Pennstroke:  Cambridge, and exoanthropology.

PNS:  So the UN Space Agency knew aheady that there was likely to be or there had been intelligent life on Proserpina, and they were likely to be humanoid?

Pennstroke:  Oh, yes.  The probes sent by NASA discovered this straightaway, and they generously shared the news with the entire world.  But we didn’t discover the exact nature of the humanoids until well after we had landed.  Several of the women reported having disturbing and very vivid dreams about them, and Fran reported having seen something move in her peripheral vision while out examining how the constellations look while several million kilometers away from Earth.

PNS: Pennstroke, that’s a rather unusual surname.  Do you know anything about its origin?

Pennstroke:  Oh, yes.  I had an ancestor who was a scribe in the court of Henry VIII around the time of our Reformation.  He had been a churchman, but after the Reformation he was encouraged  to leave the  Church and take a wife.  So he did.  She was one of the Hampton maidservants.  That’s how my family got started.  

PNS.   Fascinating  What lies ahead for your mission?.  

Pennstroke:  We will be doing some more exploration of the planet to see if there are other tribes hidden underground in other places.  We know there are at least two tribes.  We suspect there must be more.  

PNS:  You heard it here first, folks.  Stay tuned next week when we will have another exciting interview with another member of the intrepid Proserpina Exploration team.

PNS Interview with Frances MacFadden, PhD

 PNS:  Good evening!  Rita Trevalyan here from the Planetary News Service here with Frances MacFadden, PhD from Canada.  You’re from Nova Scotia, aren’t you, Dr. MacFadden?

MacFadden: Aye, That I am.  A suburb just outside of Halifax.  

PNS:  And what is your field of expertise?

MacFadden:  I be an anthropologist, and please call me Frances, or Fran.  Dr. MacFadden be me uncle, an oncologist.

PNS:  All right, Fran.  So the UN Space Agency already suspected there might be advanced life on Proserpina. 

MacFadden:  That they did, aye.  The probe they sent picked up a city or two. I studied the tribe who had been living in the lava tubes near the city, and then we traveled east of the city to see if there be any other tribes sequestered underground in more lava tubes. We were not disappointed.

PNS:  Indeed you were not.  Dr. Vogel told us you already had a mechanical translator working, so communicating with the people there was no problem.

MacFadden:  Oh, he did, did he?  Dr. Vogel is famous for having a big mouth.  Now everyone will want to come, and I wanted to keep the natives in as pristine condition as they were when we found them.  We earthlings have a bad reputation for what we do when we meet indigenous peoples. My, Davida’s and Winnie’s mission is to mitigate some of that.

PNS:  A very worthy mission all around.  Everyone I’ve talked to, with the exception of RedEagle, who is an MD, is a PhD.  Can you tell us more about the selection process?

MacFadden:  Oh, aye.  There was a competition to select the experts in our fields, and the 20 of us were the winner.  Well, there were 25, but 5 washed oot during the weight training exercises.  It was felt they would not do well in the increased gravity.  

PNS:  And did the weight training prepare you adequately for the increased gravity?

MacFadden:  Oh, aye!  I developed muscles I didn’t even ken I had.  This may cut down on the numbers of people who want to come here.  The amount of training for a trip here is very stringent, and not for everyone.

PNS:  There you have it.  One of our doughty astronauts warning everyone off going there.  Stay tuned for another stimulating interview with a member of the Proserpina Exploration Team next week.  Sam bat time, Same bat channel

PNS Interview with Hans Vogel, PhD

 PNS:  Good evening!  This is Rita Trevalyan of the Planetary News Service here with Hans Peter Vogel PhD, a leading exoagronomist and exobotanist, and a member of the Proserpina Exploration Team.  So you are also in Nadyezhka Politovena’s field. Do you ever disagree about things?

Hans Vogel: Nein, nein!  Ve get along perfectly!  Because you see, our fields of expertise do not really overlap zat much.

PNS:  Excellent!  Did you know each other before the team was selected?

Hans Vogel:  Jawohl!  Fery vell!  In fact, I recommended her for vun of za spots on za team.  

PNS:  Interesting!  She didn’t mention this when I interviewed her a few weeks ago.  

Hans Vogel (puts his hand to his mouth):  Oh!  Did I tell a tale out of school?

PNS:  It’s all right.  I can always interview her again.  You and several other members of the team made a trip elsewhere in the temperate zone recently.  How did that go?

Hans Vogel:  Fery vell!  Ve met members of another tribe who had been living in za lava tubes for a very long time.  At first they vere very shy, but zey slowly varmed to us, especially vhen ve told zem about the success Nadyezhka und Onoye vere haffing vith der farming.  Uh oh, I did it again, didn’t I?

PNS:  Yes, I heard that tribe later tried to raid the main tribe’s food stores.

Hans Vogel:  I caused zat, didn’t I?  I haf got to keep my big mouth shut.  

PNS:  It turned out all right, though.  Winifred’s tribe shared with yours.  Apparently all they had to do was ask.  

Hans Vogel:  But I feel bad about zose who got hurt during za raid.  Zat vas my fault.

PNS:  No, it wasn’t.  It was your tribe’s decision to go in there like gang busters and not ask politely for what they needed.  I hope they have learned to behave themselves.  Winifred’s tribe sounds very generous.  

Hans Vogel:Oh, zey are.  Onoye explained it to me.  They use a concept his tribe in Africa have called Unbuntu, vich means community.  Ve haf a zimilar zing in Germany.  It is very peculiar that two places zo far apart as Africa and here should haf it, und yet za two tribes on za same planet do not have it.  Za tribe ve discovered vere ready to rob za tribe here.  (shakes head sadly)

PNS:Yes, very peculiar indeed.  Thank you Dr. Vogel.  Stay tuned for our next exciting interview next week.  Same bat time, same bat channel.  

PNS Interview with Obagado Onoye, PhD

 PNS:  Good evening.  This is Rita Trevalyan with Planetary News Service here to interview Obogado Onoye of the Proserpina Exploratory Mission.  How are you tonight, Mr. Obagado?

Onoye:  Mr. Obagado is my father.  Please call me Onoye.

PNS:All right, Onoye.  What is your job in the mission?

Onoye:  My specialty is hydraulics.  Anything having to do with water, I’m your man.  

PNS: So on the trip over, you assisted Nadyezhka with her plants, and now you are assisting the natives to irrigate their crops.

Onoye: Yes.  It is very exciting.  When my father was a very young boy, the American Peace Corps came to his village and taught the people how to  have fresh water for drinking and cooking, and water for their crops and bathing.  Now I do the same thing for these people.  Davida started by digging up an ancient irrigation channel, and I found the rest of the channels.It is like the Peace Corps all over again.

PNS: That does sound very exciting.  How hard is it to learn the language?

Onoye:  Oh, Winifred has taken care of all of that.  She learned it first, and had 2 natives to help her with accent and modernize her pronunciation, and the three of them have been giving us language lessons.  She is a true polyglot.  I don’t know of a language that she hasn’t at least tried to learn.  

PNS:  How many languages do you speak, Onoye?

Onoye:  Only 4.  English, of course, Afrikaans, That’s a dialect of Dutch, I’m learning the language here, I’ve picked up a little Russian, mostly swear words, I’m afraid, and X!hosa, my tribal language.  Father would never forgive me if I forgot that.  

PNS: What is your present ambition?  What would you like to do on Proserpina that you haven’t done yet?

Onoye:  Continue learning the language, of course.  Being able to communicate with these people is such a basic part of life that I don’t know how we could proceed without it.  And once I have become a bit more grounded in the language, I’d like to learn more about the people and the culture they set up when they had to live in the lava tubes.  I am also an anthropologist, you know.  

PNS::Thank you, Onoye.  Tune in next week for another stimulating  interview with a member of this team.

PNS Interview with Davida Izriri, PhD

 PNS:  This is Rita Trevalyan here with Davida Iszrri.  You’re from Israel, right, Dr. Iszriri?

Davida:  Right, but call me Davida.  Dr. Iszriri is my mother the medical doctor.  I’m just a simple archaeologist.

PNS:  Not so simple.  You’ve made a few discoveries, haven’t you?

Davida:  Yes, all of us have.  What used to be a city very close to our encampment.  And it’s in remarkably well preserved condition.  

PNS:  Does the city have a name?

Davida:  We are calling it Cerberus after the three headed dog who used to guard the entrance to Hades, to make sure that only the dead entered there.

PNS:  Cerberus, interesting name.

Davida:but Winifred, our ancient language expert, is working even now on translation to discover their name for the city.

PNS:  Where did you get your PhD?

Davida:  Tel Aviv University, then I did some postdoctoral study in Jerusalem.   I was studying the Western wall of the Temple, the Wailing Wall, when I was called to this mission.Did you know that under the right wind conditions the Wailing Wall actually does wail?

PNS:  No, I didn’t.  I thought it got its name because of the people who stand there and wail over the destruction of the Temple.  

Davida::  Well, that too.  

PNS:  How did Dr. Harris manage to learn their language so she could translate it?

Davida:  Well you’re going to have to have another interview with her, aren’t you?  But to make a long story short, she discovered that it resembles ancient Mayan, except that the characters are phonetic, like ancient Egyptian rather than ideographic.

PNS:  Thank you, Davida for a very interesting talk.  Tune in next week for another inspiring interview of another member of the Proserpina Exploration Team.

PNS Interview with Marcel Goddard, PhD

 PNS:  This is Rita Trevalyan with the Planetary News Service interviewing Marcel Pierre Goddard PhD, one of the brave astronauts on the Proserpina Exploration Team.  How are you, Dr. Goddard?

MPG:  Si vous plait, call me Marcel.  I am fine.  How are you?

PNS:  Can’t complain.  What is your area of expertise?

MPG:  I am a physical anthropologist.  If we find humanoid remains on the planet, it is my job to analyze them, and get a picture of what they were life in life.  

PNS:  What are the chances you will find signs of advanced life on the planet?

MPG: Oh, I would say about 50-50.

PNS:  What do you mean by that?

MPG:  Either we will or we will not.  It could go either way.

PNS:  Where did you study?

MPG:  At the Sorbonne, of course, is there really any other universite?

PNS:  I can see you’re still very loyal  to your alma mater.  What are your plans fo after this mission?

MPG:  Well, UNSA has plans for me, make the circuit, you know, and I probably will write a book about my experiences, and settle down to be a husband and father.  I’m engaged, you see.  Engaged to be married.  It was all quite sudden, you know, but we are very happy about it.

PNS:  Congratulations, Marcel!  Tune in next week for another stimulating interview with one of the members of the Proserpina mission.

GNS Interview with Dr. Nin Hao

GNS:  Rita Trevalyan of the Global News Service here with Nin Hao PhD.  How are you doing, Mr. Nin?

NH:  Please to call me Hao.  Mr. Nin is my father.

GNS:  All right, Hao.  What part of China are you from?

NH:  Shanghai in the Technocrats District.  

GNS:  I see that you have a different type of exoskeleton from all your shipmates.

NH:  Yes, they only wear theirs when training, although when we get to the ninth planet, they will wear theirs all the time as I do.  As you can see, it is partially covered by my clothing.  This is because it is incorporated into my bones, muscles, and skin.  My shipmates like to jokingly call me the “bionic man.”  They mean no harm by this.  It is the result of an accident I was in 10 years ago.   

GNS:  It is a testimony to your abilities and persistence that you still qualified for this mission.  

NH:  They were hesitant at first, but I convinced them I can take the increased gravity better than any of the others can without their exoskeletons, and besides, what have I got to lose?

GNS:  What is your area of expertise, Hao?

NH:  I am an exobiologist.  It is my job to collect specimens of any life the planet may have, and to classify it according to the Linnaeus taxonomy system.  It is an ancient system, but it is useful for our purposes, and elastic enough to fit all the species we may find there.

GNS:  Do you seriously believe Proserpina has extant life?

NH:  I do not see why she would not:  After all, under that burnt, scored scarred surface, there is an underground ocean.  Maybe the life will be simple, as our extremophiles tend to be, or it could be complex, but I am confident we will find life there.

GNS:  Please excuse me for being so curious, but I cannot help being fascinated by your Exoskeleton.  How did it come about?  

NH: The man who developed it is unfortunately dead now, Dr. Hin Zhao Tsin.  He analyzed all the work in the field of prosthetics after my accident, then how you say, wiped the board clean.  He started from--do you say scratch?

GNS:  Yes, we do.  Go on.

NH:  In my head are nano positronic motors.  They work with my thoughts to control my muscles.  He actually had been working on his idea for many years, then I came along with my body all torn up.  Even the nerves in my spinal cord have been replaced the nano positronic motors. He had been working in robotics too before I came along .  I am his crowning achievement.  It took me years to learn how to control my body.  His students worked out refinements of his techniques but I am still essentially Dr. Hin’s work.  He received the Nobel Prize posthumously for what he did on me, and two others who came after me.

GNS:And I am sure that wherever he may be, he is very proud of you for having qualified for this mission.  Thank you, Dr. Nin.  Stay tuned for next week’s interview.

Interview with Nayezhka Politovna

GNS:  Here we are, Rita Trevalyan with the Global News Service interviewing another member of the Famous doughty Proserpinan Exploratory Mission team  training to take off next month for that mysterious dark planet.  Nadyezhka Politovna of Russia.  How are you today, Dr. Politovna? NP: I fine, very healthy.  Please to call me Nadyezhka.  Moi mother Dr. Politkovna. GNS:  Your mother must be very proud, and father too, to have two doctors in the family.  Wow! NP: My mother physician for littles I am humble PhD.  Big difference. GNS:  Your mother is a pediatrician? NP:  Da.   GNS:  What is your field of expertise? NP:  I in charge of hydroponics.  You know on ship there will be hydroponic plants.  They scrub air and provide food better than most space food.  Fresh food.  Very healthy. GNS:  That will be very good.  You have a green thumb as they say? NP:  Da, I have green thumb.  Been growing things since I little one.   GNS:  Is the rest of the team easy to get along with? NP:  Oh, da!  All of us have as you say pleasing personalities, especially the Brazilian.  She most pleasing to me.   GNS:  Oho!  Have we picked up the germ of a romance stirring in the team? NP:  I know not.  Too early to tell. GNS:  These plants all look very healthy. NP:  I feed them many nutrients besides water.  Have strawberry.  [hands reporter strawberry] GNS:  [eats strawberry]  Mmm.  Delicious. NP:  I grow many things one would not think could be grown hydroponically.   GNS:  Stay tuned next week, same bat time, same bat channel when we’ll have a chat with yet another member of this intrepid team.